Everyone is always talking about women and body hair, but everyone forgets that us Singhs have hair too. So, I want to share my story.
I thought she loved me. I gave her everything I possibly could. But I guess that wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. My body wasn’t good enough.
I had never been in a relationship before. Growing up in a Sikh household, the topic of boyfriends/girlfriends was never discussed openly or even remotely I was supposed to focus on my “studies” and nothing else. My parents had a strict policy of “nothing before marriage.” I guess you could say I came from a very sheltered household with no understanding of the real world.
I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was a junior in college. We were the best of friends from day one. We both came from Sikh households. I was (and still am) Amritdhari and she was on that path. I loved her and she loved me. It seemed like nothing could tear us apart. But, something did.
As a couple, we weren’t really sexually active. However, we became very comfortable with each other. We made out, but there was always that fear of going further. We both knew we were going to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but there was always something that seemed to be holding her back. Something she was too scared to ask about.
Then, finally one day she came out and asked: “Do you shave down there?” I was puzzled. I had a full grown beard, and had never touched a single strand of hair on my body my entire life. What on Earth did she mean by shave down there?
I shrugged and tried to hide my discomfort. “What are you talking about? Shave down where?” I then proceeded to look down at my jean zipper and back at her. With a puzzled look she disgustingly responded “Wait. You don’t? Ew, not going to lie, but that’s kinda disgusting.” The typical couple fighting began. Every little thing was an issue. My image of her had changed completely, as I’m sure her’s did too. Things eventually cooled down, but it was never the same again.
I felt broken. I had never really felt something was wrong with my body until that day. Shave my penis? Seriously? Do people actually do that? Do girls actually like that? Was there something wrong with me? Was I just stupid for thinking it was weird? My girlfriend never touched the hair on her head and appeared to be strong in every other way about her Sikhi. However, when it came down to it, she expected me to be clean shaven down there.
After talking to a few Sikh guy friends, I realized how oblivious I actually was. A handful of my friends actually did shave their groin region, and another hand full of them admitted that they thought about it before, but didn’t know how to go about it. I was in shock. Sikh guys, with full beards and kesh, some Amritdhari, shaving and trimming their pubic hair.
As expected, our relationship quickly ended. She said “It isn’t you, it’s me,” but I knew the reason. The upkeep of my hair was very important to her. She wanted a Sikh boy who had full dhari and kesh, but wanted him to be clean shaven in his most private of areas.
If you can’t accept me for what I am on the outside, how can you ever expect to accept me for what I am on the inside?
Hairy Down There