My Hair Down There

Guest March 26, 2013 6
My Hair Down There

Everyone is always talking about women and body hair, but everyone forgets that us Singhs have hair too. So, I want to share my story.

I thought she loved me. I gave her everything I possibly could. But I guess that wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. My body wasn’t good enough.

I had never been in a relationship before. Growing up in a Sikh household, the topic of boyfriends/girlfriends was never discussed openly or even remotely  I was supposed to focus on my “studies” and nothing else. My parents had a strict policy of “nothing before marriage.” I guess you could say I came from a very sheltered household with no understanding of the real world.

I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was a junior in college. We were the best of friends from day one. We both came from Sikh households. I was (and still am) Amritdhari and she was on that path. I loved her and she loved me. It seemed like nothing could tear us apart. But, something did.

As a couple, we weren’t really sexually active. However, we became very comfortable with each other. We made out, but there was always that fear of going further. We both knew we were going to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but there was always something that seemed to be holding her back. Something she was too scared to ask about.

Then, finally one day she came out and asked: “Do you shave down there?” I was puzzled. I had a full grown beard, and had never touched a single strand of hair on my body my entire life. What on Earth did she mean by shave down there?

I shrugged and tried to hide my discomfort. “What are you talking about? Shave down where?” I then proceeded to look down at my jean zipper and back at her. With a puzzled look she disgustingly responded “Wait. You don’t? Ew, not going to lie, but that’s kinda disgusting.” The typical couple fighting began. Every little thing was an issue. My image of her had changed completely, as I’m sure her’s did too. Things eventually cooled down, but it was never the same again.

I felt broken. I had never really felt something was wrong with my body until that day. Shave my penis? Seriously? Do people actually do that? Do girls actually like that? Was there something wrong with me? Was I just stupid for thinking it was weird? My girlfriend never touched the hair on her head and appeared to be strong in every other way about her Sikhi. However, when it came down to it, she expected me to be clean shaven down there.

After talking to a few Sikh guy friends, I realized how oblivious I actually was. A handful of my friends actually did shave their groin region, and another hand full of them admitted that they thought about it before, but didn’t know how to go about it. I was in shock. Sikh guys, with full beards and kesh, some Amritdhari, shaving and trimming their pubic hair.

As expected, our relationship quickly ended. She said “It isn’t you, it’s me,” but I knew the reason. The upkeep of my hair was very important to her. She wanted a Sikh boy who had full dhari and kesh, but wanted him to be clean shaven in his most private of areas.

If you can’t accept me for what I am on the outside, how can you ever expect to accept me for what I am on the inside?

Hairy Down There

6 Comments »

  1. Sikhi kaur March 26, 2013 at 6:17 pm - Reply

    Mad respect for keeping all the kesh. All of it. Doesnt matter where it is, kesh is kesh. I know Sikh dudes in love would do anything that their girlfriends say to just to be in that relationship. We, girls, need to instill and uphold our Sikhi values that our Gurus and ancestors gave up their lives for, not give in to society standards and empower other girls and guys. Anyways, it just shows how strong you truly are.P.S. there are Sikhi girls out there that will accept everything about you, even if it is hairy done there.(: BUT MAD RESPECT YO.

  2. Kaur March 26, 2013 at 6:29 pm - Reply

    Hmm is this a tongue-in-cheek article? A satire perhaps?

  3. PK Sidhu March 26, 2013 at 6:50 pm - Reply

    Sorry to hear about your experience, you’d think guys could get away with being hairy. I wonder if she shaved ‘down there’? How did she even know what ‘down there’ was supposed to look like?

  4. Navdeep Kaur March 26, 2013 at 6:50 pm - Reply

    Props to you, Singh, for writing regarding this. It’s definietly an(other) issue that we need to tackle.

    I’ve recently come into Sikhi, about a year ago. I took Amrit about 6 months ago.

    I’ve done the whole dating thing before I came into my Sikhi saroop and when I had never consider Sikhi as my path.

    What bothers me the most, wearing my father, Guru Gobind Singh Jee’s dastaar, is knowing that my Amritdhari brothers and sisters are dating! And not just dating but going beyond dating!!! I understand if one is looking to get married and for that reason, they have started to “date” but their parents know and have agreed to the proposed relationship, but as an Amritdhari, I just dont understand why we are falling into lust (kam) and letting each other fall into lust.

    Why aren’t we calling each other out, as brothers and sisters, for doing such things? I understand that everyone is on a different level, and everyone has their own journey. I know this because I lived through this. Being the only Amritdhari in my family and group of friends isn’t always the norm, especially when your own family is sometimes against it all, but it is possible because I have Vaahiguroo merea ang sang.

    So my question to my Amritdhari friends, especially those who grew up being Amritdhari and who’s family-friend circles are all Amritdhari, why are we dating? Why are we not following Guru Sahib’s Hukam? Who are we living for? What does Bhai Joga Singh Jee’s story teach us?

    And as for pubic or any other hair goes, it is a shame that we would want our fellow Amritdhari brothers and sisters to shave/pluck/wax/remove any sort of hair (which is an “ang” [limb] for Sikhs) from our being. Instead we should be support and understanding of each other and more importantly, of our souls, of our Guroos, of Guru Granth Sahib Ji, of Allah, of Raam, of Vaahiguroo!

    If I’ve said something wrong, please forgive a learning soul.

    Vaahiguroo Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaahiguroo Ji Ki Fateh!

  5. confused March 27, 2013 at 2:04 am - Reply

    This makes no sense. A Sikh girl wants a guy with kesh and a dastar, yet wants him to shave his pubic area? Why doesn’t she just say I want a “clean-shaven Sikh”. Why disrespect a Sardar by asking him to “shave down there.” Just date a “mona Sikh” and he will be more then happy to shave where ever you please.

  6. Soothsayer April 2, 2013 at 6:20 am - Reply

    You know this thing was always in my head but I was just too afraid to bring that up. I want to thank you for that.
    What really bummed me out was when I was discussing the same topic with my cousin brothers and apparently came to know they are also shaving their groin region. When I told them that I do not and never will, since I am Amritdhari, one of them asked, how would you satisfy your future wife then ?
    I did not know how to answer that but later on after contemplating over that concluded that I do not want a wife who gets pleasure through through these acts, in contrast I want a wife who derives pleasure from Gurbani, through Meditation and Naam Simran.
    Although I do feel that the odds of finding that type of girl is pretty low, considering the trend. But I have decided I would not budge from my faith, my convictions. Gur Fateh.

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